Beach Packing Essentials w/ Tiny Humans
Ahhh, the beach. The perfect calming combination of the crashing waves, the warm sun, and the copious cocktails. You roll out of bed at whatever time you please, get some breakfast, stroll down to the water, and spend your nights eating delicious food and enjoying each others company and sexy tans. Then you have kids...
And that shit is no longer relaxing. Don't worry, you will still have a great time but you will not be lounging, you will not be waking up late, you will not be strolling. You will be doing all of the same things you do at home except in a completely new place and with a completely overstimulated toddler, or two, if you are insane like we are.
But don't fret, I have come up with a check list to help you get ready for the impending chaos that will hopefully allow you to better prepare and enjoy your time away.
The drive:
We usually try to drive down overnight if we can. It's easier on the car since it's cooler, it means the kids pretty much sleep the whole way, we can listen to whatever we want, we miss most traffic, we can take turns and sleep or have some nice one on one time, and we "wake up" at the beach! Last time we got a cheap hotel room for the night, and slept there for a few hours after we got in at 1 am-ish, got a late check out and met our family later that day at the real vacay spot and it went great. This time, we are going to leave later at night and drive through the morning hours & chug some Monster Rehabs (if you haven't tried them, do it, then thank me.)
- snacks- if you think you have enough, get more, because nothing is more hungry than a bored kid. They will lose most of them in their carseat and all over the car floor but they will be mostly quiet
- toys- hit up the dollar store and let them go nuts, it will still only be $7 and you won't care as much when they lose/break them in 2 seconds flat
- tunes- keep them kid appropriate- Kid Rock, Lil Wayne, Biggie Smalls
- tablet or DVD player if all else fails
Sun fun:
- bathing suits- bring 2 or more so they can dry out between changes and you only have to worry about wrestling your own rolls back into a wet suit
- swim diapers
- hat- even though they will tear it off every 2 seconds
- diapers- have enough? Get more!
- wipes- see diapers commentary
- so much sunscreen- I have a ginger babe and a red bearded fella so, yeah.
- cooler with snacks/drinks/adult beverages- that bitch is gonna be heavy
- stroller for when the kids decide 2 feet from the car is enough walking for them
- reusable tote bags- put sand in them for weights, use them as trash bags, use them for wet clothes
- baby carrier if you use one
- baby powder for sandy feet and hands
- baby pool to put under shade for breaks
- tent/canopy/umbrella for shade
- floatation device- people are always raving about the puddle jumpers but remember, nothing replaces watching your kids like a damn hawk because they have miles to run and will use every damn inch of it
Day to Day:
- sound machine/diffuser/humidifier- or just open a window and listen to the water rolling
- monitor so you can listen from the deck/balcony with your beverage in hand
- don't forget that one special fucking blanket/stuffed animal!!!!
- pack'n'play & sheets/pillows/blankets
- kids towels for beach & bath
- shampoo/body wash
- toothbrush & toothpaste
- at least 2 outfits per day, and then some more because they will never like what you picked
- pajamas- we pack a pair for every other night
- underwear- but not the one with the green flowers because those are just repulsive according to the threenager
- flip flops for beach & closed toed shoes for adventures
- sunglasses & accessories for the diva 3 year old
- light jacket/sweater for cool nights
And finally, a damn trailer to get all that shit from the beach to the room & back again while also dealing with overtired terrors that refuse to walk for whatever reason or decide to run in the opposite direction after you manage to grab everything in one trip.
Get your patience together now, folks because it's a whole different ball game with kids. But it's also so cool to watch them find seashells, and build sandcastles and play with the waves. Plus nothing is cuter than worn out babies sleeping in the shade with their sandy toes.
